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Sinister sounds, creepy candlelight, and wicked whispers!

Noises from Hell: “Sound Effects Mass” in Austria

Look creepy to you? Wait till you hear it!

Attenion Novus Ordo adherents!

Tired of that ho-hum, run-of-the-mill Novus Ordo liturgy?

The diocese of Gurk, Austria, can help: Once a year its Heart of Jesus parish in Klagenfurt-Welzenegg conducts a Geräuschmesse — a “Sound Effects Mass”!

What is that, you ask? Words could never succeed in describing it. You have to experience it. Here are some videos of the last few years, beginning in 2012:

So, don’t delay: Attend an Austrian Geräuschmesse and experience the fury of hell like never before!

What? Got concerns about attending? Are you worried that this surely constitutes “liturgical abuse” and can’t possibly be approved by the diocese? Fear no more! Geräuschmesse is proudly presented and happily advertised on the official diocesan web site, where the Modernist “bishop” was Mr. Alois Schwarz until 2018 and now Mr. Josef Marketz is infelicitously reigning.

The special sinister sound liturgy is brought to you by “Father” Peter Deibler (that’s this guy right here), who likes to baptize hair instead of the head (as required for validity) and whose confirmation class prepares for the invalid Novus Ordo sacrament by visiting a Sikh temple and mingling with pagans. (But look, they’re wearing veils! So traditional!!)

Don’t like Mr. Deibler’s “Sound Effects Mass”? Then try his “Rock Mass” instead! It’s performed every year on the Sunday before Ash Wednesday. If you’re unlucky, Deibler himself will be the lead vocalist:

So, ladies and gentlemen, next time you hear esoteric sounds, mysterious whispers, harrowing shrieks, or other nightmarish noises, don’t fear: It may just be the Vatican II Sect celebrating the “fount and apex of the whole Christian life” (Lumen Gentium, n. 11)!

Image source: youtube.com (screenshot)
License: fair use