Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Smoke of Satan still permitted…

Francis outlaws Sale of Cigarettes in Vatican City

Francis has once again shown his iron “papal” fist: In a fearless move against the powers of darkness, the “Pope” has now outlawed the sale of cigarettes throughout every square inch of the 0.17 sq mi of Vatican City State, effective Jan. 1, 2018.

In a Nov. 9 statement released by the Unholy See’s Press Office, spokesman Greg Burke explained the move on the grounds that “the Holy See cannot contribute to an activity that clearly damages the health of people”, according to a report published by Crux.

Rome Reports issued the following brief video summary:

We must point out that, curiously enough, what is banned in the Vatican as of 2018 is not the sale of all tobacco products but only that of cigarettes: “The sale of large cigars though will continue,” press secretary Burke added and provided a Clintonesque justification: “since the smoke is not inhaled”.

Got it! Perhaps by moving from smoking cigarettes to smoking cigars, nationals of Vatican City can show that they are now ready to take “a first step in the direction of a moralization, a first assumption of responsibility, on the way toward recovering an awareness that not everything is allowed and that one cannot do whatever one wants”, as “Pope” Benedict XVI might put it.

To be clear: It is certainly not wrong to ban tobacco sales in Vatican City. The Pope — a true Pope — certainly has the authority and the right to do so if he deems it a prudent move. That’s not the issue. The issue is that once again Francis is worried about anything except that which he ought to worry about, given his claim to being the Pope of the Catholic Church.

When during the canonization proceedings for Pope Pius X (d. 1914) in the early 1950s, the advocatus diaboli (devil’s advocate) objected to the holiness of Giuseppe Sarto on the grounds that he had been a smoker, the cardinals in attendance reportedly laughed out loud (some of them quite possibly with cigarettes in hand).

One must ask: Where is that much-touted “mercy” for those addicted to the smoking of cigarettes? What about the concrete circumstances of their situation? What if those didn’t allow them to act differently? What about the complexity of their limits? What if they don’t understand the inherent values of the rule? And now they’re being pigeonholed or fit into overly rigid classifications leaving no room for a suitable personal and pastoral discernment!

Alas, the usual buzzwords of discernment, accompaniment, integration, and all the rest are apparently not applicable to the smoking of cigarettes, only to the practice of serious moral evils such as adultery, which poses no threat to the body but causes instant death for sanctifying grace in the soul, not for one but for two people. It looks like we’ll be waiting for an exhortation entitled Fumandi Laetitia for eons to come.

No word yet, by the way, on whether “the smoke of Satan” (words of “Pope” Paul VI in 1972) has been banned from the Vatican — but judging by external indicators, inhaling it seems to be mandatory at this point.

9 Responses to “Francis outlaws Sale of Cigarettes in Vatican City”

  1. BurningEagle

    I wish I had a reference, but I do not. However, I was told that St. Pius X snorted tobacco snuff. It has been suggested that due to the snuff, his nose was not incorrupt. Again, I have no reference to give. I had not heard he smoked.

    Homosexuality is OK, divorce and re-marriage is OK. What used to be called “living in sin” is now OK.
    Protestantism is OK, Islam is OK. Atheism is OK.

    What is not OK?
    Answer: Just about anything that the Catholic Church held prior to October of 1958, either in doctrine, morals or liturgy. Also: cigarettes.

  2. Sonia

    “No word yet, by the way, on whether “the smoke of Satan” has been banned from the Vatican — but judging by external indicators, inhaling it seems to be mandatory at this point.” 😉
    Interesting that those who can afford a cigar are not being penalised.

  3. bartmaeus

    Yes, it is a grave sin against the social body to accompany a smoker on his possible journey towards reaching a more perfect mode of healthful living whilst he persists in indulging that dreadful and potentially deadly vice of the flesh.

    If you discern the scent of that sulphurous practice on the clothes or breath of someone dwelling within the sacred confines of this Monarchy, you must at once notify the Morality Police, whether in its Novus Ordo, or the Islamic, or the Jewish departments, providing them with the identity of the culprit, so he can be more swiftly apprehended and ostracised, forestalling the possibility of further infestation of the godly body politic.

    Then you are advised to go and open any remaining windows in order to air out the smoke that has invaded the sacred confines. If there are no windows left to open, then build a bridge. Or else adopt a migrant. Or pick up some litter. Or meditate for 15 minutes in the lotus position. In order to atone to Gaia for the pollutant.

  4. Clare Forkin

    Hilarious article! You just can’t make these things up! If smoking cigarettes is the only burning issue exercising Bergoglio at this juncture it’s beyond me! But as they say, there’s no smoke without fire 🔥

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.